loving others even in social isolation

faith chang | MAY 6, 2020 | 3 MIN READ

It’s been 45 days since social distancing measures began here in New York, and this headline from The New York Times sums up the sentiment here: “March, April, May: City’s Mood Darkens as Crisis Feels Endless.”

As a mom of four young kids social distancing with extended family, I've been forced to keep busy. And though it’s been hard, I’ve come to see it has in part been God's grace to me spiritually and emotionally. The tasks on my plate may be overwhelming, but they keep me from spiraling downward and inward by forcing me to serve (and be with) others daily.

It can be harder for single people in our lives. Social distancing can make it harder for those who may be living alone or separated from family. I believe one of Satan's greatest tactics is to divide and conquer, and the danger for us spiritually while we’re apart is real. We're made to be with and serve others, and when we don't, we suffer for it. We are made to live in community with one another.

My sister has been self-isolating alone in another city for the last 6 weeks, but finds ways to safely be in community with others almost daily, making drop-offs of food, gifts, and groceries to friends and church members. At my request, she wrote out a list of what she’s been doing to encourage singles in self-isolation to love others, but this guide could be for anyone.

Some of you are caring for the sick or work from home and wouldn’t be able to handle anything else on your plates. This list (besides the first point on prayer) may not be for you. But if you have been tempted to mindless escape, sinful distraction, or endless news-scrolling during this time, maybe something here could help you redeem the time.

Ideas for Serving Others While In Social Isolation

1. Pray

Praying is hard, but it is a way to love people. We are not God – we want to be places we cannot be; we want to help but feel helpless; we wish things could change, but they are out of our control. Prayer reminds us that God is both willing and able to do what we long for. No matter where we are, we can love others by praying for them.

Try these exercises.

Start by praying from small/local things then move up to big and global things. When you pray for family and friends, pray for people specifically by name. As you pray for church and governments, pray for the leaders by name, too. And by the time you get to the world, it’s okay if you only have a sentence or two.
You might also want to pray for each of the six topics for one day of the week. Leave Sunday as a day of rest or as a day to pray for whatever God puts on your heart.
- Family
- Close friends
- Church and coworkers
- City, state
- Country
- World

If your church has virtual prayer meetings, you can join those too. The need for prayer is great as people in our church are affected daily by COVID-19.

2. Practice hospitality

We can’t meet anymore, and that is very painful. Thankfully, hospitality is not really about inviting people into your house. It’s about letting someone into your life and heart, and letting them know that you want to pay attention to them. That’s the message behind cleaning a living room, pouring tea, or asking if they want a snack: You’re telling someone they matter.

Here are some ways to practice hospitality at a distance:

Ask someone to talk. Start with just one person – it doesn’t have to be everyone. If they say yes, set up a time and stick with it. At the end, ask if there are ways to pray for them and ask if you can pray together. Even if they are not believers, they may appreciate that you are talking to God for them. Isn’t that a wonderful gift? We love being thought of and remembered by people, and it’s amazing God thinks of and remembers us.
If you are an extrovert (or have an extrovert buddy), set up a ‘happy hour’ time together. It is best used as a time where people can see each other and chat, but it doesn’t have to be serious or study-focused. A little bit of structure helps. My small group has a happy hour every Monday from 6:30-7:30pm (in addition to Bible study during the week). No RSVP needed, you can eat or have a drink or do whatever. Every Monday we have a theme: show and tell (items); show and tell (pictures); hidden talent; guessing everyone’s favorite childhood movie/cartoon character (submitted via Google); favorite childhood book. Sometimes we catch up but mostly it’s just having some fun. Friends outside the group have also enjoyed being together.
Do contactless drop-offs.
- If you like to cook or bake, consider safe ways to share this with people around you. Maybe your elderly neighbor says she likes brownies, or maybe there’s a family that is just so busy right now. If you’re not close friends, you might want to ask if people have any restrictions or feel uncomfortable with drop-offs. (But then again, we are Chinese so we’re politely supposed to say no even if it’d be nice!). Always remember to wash your hands thoroughly, and try to make food that will last more than one day or that can be reheated.
- If you are already going to the grocery store, send a quick message to friends or neighbors if they need anything. Many of us are trying to stretch out the time between trips, and sometimes it’s just nice to have something we forgot. Other times, people have no food at all. Consider ways to be generous with what you have: time, energy, some extra ingredients. You don’t have to (and probably shouldn’t!) buy someone’s entire grocery list, but again it’s remembering that we’ve been blessed to bless others.
Be a buddy! Maybe you have a car but can’t cook, or vice versa. See if you can team up with someone (safely) to minister to someone in need.
Go low tech.
- Write a letter or email. It’s not the same as a text or a DM, and you know it! Writing a letter/email means we have slowed down and we have something to say or share with someone. (Also, writing a letter/e-mail means you don’t have to get into a back-and-forth conversation, which means less pressure to respond immediately.)
- If you see someone on Facebook going through a tough time, write them a message letting them know you’re thinking of them. Or if there’s someone you haven’t seen in a while on video chat, just tell them you remember them. Did you know almost all of the New Testament are letters? There’s something special about them.
- Print out a poem or encouraging Bible verse. Or drop off a book? If you are able to do contactless drop-offs, it’s nice to combine it with a hand-written note or printed-out poem, picture, or Bible verse. So much of our lives have become digital. This is a gift, but humans need tangible interactions. Sometimes having something we can touch helps us experience it in a different way.
- If you have a book that someone else might benefit from, consider sharing with them. Of course, be safe about this – wash your hands!

God’s Grace To Us When We Serve

The other day as I walked through Costco, I felt like I was suffocating under my mask. It was too hot for my jacket, but I didn’t want to take it off with my gloved hands. Passing empty fridges and silent shoppers, tears rose as I thought of sick and grieving church members. The palpable gravity of our situation weighed heavily on me.

Yet as I drove away, I was surprised that I began to feel a sense of gladness, even joy. I’d texted someone from church on the way in, and had been able to find a few items her family needed. The small act of being able to do that made the whole trip feel like it was more than a matter of survival. I was able to serve, and was blessed with a sense of purpose and joy because of it.

When we’re feeling anxious and lonely, stepping out to love others might be one of the ways God chooses to sustain us and give us joy, counterintuitive as that may be. Even now, he has prepared good works for us to walk into (Eph. 2:10). Whether through prayer, hospitality, or a quick check-in, actively serving another person in love may turn out to be God’s grace to you today.