redeeming loneliness during social distancing

michael y. lee | APRIL 21, 2020 | 2 MIN READ

As seen on our Instagram feeds, many of us are surviving COVID-19 by picking up new hobbies — learning new recipes, taking more walks with loved ones, watching movies with someone on FaceTime, participating in TikTok challenges, and more.

But social distancing is taking its toll. Despite creative videos that make us laugh and Zoom calls with friends, many of us are suffering from loneliness.

Feeling isolated was a huge problem even before this pandemic because of our very individualistic culture, but now it has grown worse. Beyond what we see on Instagram and TikTok is the reality that there is great spiritual warfare waging in our hearts as we react to the pangs of our loneliness. Satan knows we’re lonely, and he’s on the move seeking to destroy our souls by making us feel even more alone. How do we combat this?

The Inescapable Reality of Loneliness

Loneliness is so much more than just being alone. It’s an all-encompassing and painful emptiness that we experience in our hearts. We often exert vast amounts of energy and resources trying to numb loneliness or distract ourselves from it — sometimes without even knowing it.

We cling to unhealthy relationships, binge watch shows, spend hours on YouTube, work ourselves to unhealthy levels, and dive into pornography. When these things fail us (which they eventually do), we experience anger, anxiety, and depression. In that way, loneliness can make us overly sensitive and vulnerable to danger and sin.

It is important to remember that loneliness is an inescapable reality — all of us experience it, as many of us are right now. But depending on how we see loneliness and react to it, loneliness can either be our worst enemy or, surprisingly, one of life’s greatest blessings.

Although isolation has led many people into great darkness, with God, we can see through it with a Gospel lens and know that He is able to use all the pains, battles, and sufferings that come with loneliness for his ultimate good (Romans 8:28). With God, loneliness can lead us to real joy, real satisfaction, real transformation, and true freedom that our hearts desperately long for. We just need the eyes to see.

Seeking What is Eternal

We are often so absorbed by the temporary things of this world that we put so little effort into knowing God, who is eternal. In fact, the beauties, joys, and pleasures of this world are oftentimes far more attractive to us than God, and so we live our lives so absorbed by the things God has made rather than God Himself. This is an absolute tragedy.

Satan does all that he can to keep our eyes on this world, but because God loves us, He works to point our eyes to Himself. Loneliness is one of His greatest tools to help us lift our gaze, and He uses it to remind us that we were all created through Christ and for Christ (Colossians 1:16), not for the ephemeral things of the earth.

Loneliness causes us to run to people and other momentary diversions, hoping that they can alleviate our pain. But, by the grace of God, we come to the realization that nothing of this world can satisfy us. Just like the prodigal son, we’ll say to ourselves, “I will turn back and go to my Father” (Luke 15:18).

In other words, loneliness reminds us of this life-changing reality: only God can satisfy the aching soul. He can use that pain of isolation to grow us closer to him.

An Increasing Desire for God

An encounter with God begins with a great desire and longing for Him. When we use our loneliness to fuel our desire for God, then He can teach us to seek Him, find Him, and experience the joy that we desperately long for in Him. We will have a thirst for His presence that will radically transform our priorities and cause us to seek Him above other things.

Then we can take comfort from God’s own words: “You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13). We also see this thread continue in the New Testament: “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you” (James 4:8). These are beautiful promises that we know God will fulfill because He is always faithful.

There is no joy on this planet that can ever compare with the infinite joy of really encountering God and His love! This joy we find in God is infinitely full and never-ending. It is the very thing that our heart most desires and needs.

“You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
(Psalm 16:11)”

God delights in our well-being. He is not absent from our loneliness. But by detaching our hearts from this world and pointing us to Himself, God is working through our lonely hearts to truly satisfy our desire to be connected and intimately known. He loves us so much that He died to purchase for us eternal joy in Him and not in this world.

C.S. Lewis writes, “God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.” God desires for us to enjoy in Him the highest of all joys, and the sweetest of all pleasures that last forever.

So during these times as we all battle loneliness, let us seek after Him who gave Himself for us. Let us seek after Him who will completely and forever satisfy our aching hearts. Let us listen to the voice of God in our loneliness and realize that God is calling us to Himself.

“For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him.” Colossians 1:16